my christmas vacation by jethan part 1

here it is. the long and awaited jethan's christmas vacation. sure to be on the best sellers list any day now. i'm sure most of you are like "who really gives a rats ass". wasn't that like a month ago. but this site really isn't about what you are thinking. it's about me, so i'm going to subject you to it anyway. i'm not sure how many segments this is going to be since its still a work in progress but here's the first. it contains the first two days. enjoy. and don't hate. [smile]

day 1 [christmas day]
horace, vickie, and i arrived in bangkok late christmas night. it must have been around 11pm or so which doesn't sound that late but actually would have around 1am korea time. it was a day of non-stop transportation: bus to airport, airplane to taipai, airplane to bangkok, cab to hotel. the cab ride took an interesting turn especially when it turned down an extremely dark, deadend alley. its not really a good sign when your cab driver doesn't know where he's going. all i could think was "welcome to bangkok, give me all your money and get out." i had no idea where we were or even where we were going. all i wanted to do was sleep. eventually we made it to the hotel. while we were checking in they brought us some punch to drink. the only thing it was missing was some alcohol which would have been a nice treat about now. we settled in our room and horace and vickie wanted to get some food. i felt like staying in the room but they convinced me to go with them. afterall we were in bangkok. our first day of vacation. no more freezing cold weather. no children for a week. only warm weather and relaxation. we left the hotel in search of something. we figured we were in bangkok so how hard could it be to find some food. it was around 1am which should have been a sign for us. we found an alley that was packed full of people. before entering all these guys came up to us asking if we wanted them to take us to a "party". it was as if i was in the red light district of amsterdam again. the alley was lined with bars and drunks. although oddly enough their was no music coming from any of the establishments. it was pretty quiet except for the conversations of the people around us. i definitely didn't have a good feeling about this place. i felt like i was at a giant frat party with the average age 50 and up. everywhere i look there were young thai girls in the company of older men. halfway down the street was a baby elephant on display. i felt so bad for him. he looked completely at of place in this urban setting. all these drunks were petting and pawing him. i wanted to knock the rider off and let the elephant run but i didn't. there wasn't much for food except for the insect stand which sold everything from grasshoppers to roaches. i'm still think we should of gotten a bag of these tastely morsels to snack on. we reached the end and decided to head back to the hotel. i think at this point we were all feeling a bit sketchy about this area we found. once again we were asked if we wanted to be taken to the "party". i feel like we should have yes. we had to walk back through the alley to get to our hotel. people we getting drunker and drunker. i saw one thai girl sitting in the lap of her boyfriend for the night. out of the corner of my eye i say something red move. before i knew what was what their was a thai hooker in front of me asking if i "wanted a good time". i didn't even have a chance to respond when she put a death grip on my crotch. i pulled her hand off and said "no". she ran off to her hooker friends giggling. now i have a glimpse into what it's like for women when they get unwanted advances. part of me was pissed off and the other part felt somewhat violated. its one thing to get your ass grabbed but your crotch. yeah thats a big turn one. i'm sure had i not been so tired it wouldn't have bothered me as much. or it could simply be my own karma coming back to haunt me. after all i did laugh at bill when he was attacked by a hooker in prague. damn, did she have to pinch so hard. as the whole seedy incident was going down all i remember hearing is horace saying "watch your pockets". it definitely put me in a weird state of mind. korean live definitely isn't like this. i've been so far removed from situations like this that i almost forgot how to react. looking back now its actually quite comical. i wish i had been more prepare. on the bright side of things, it looks like i did get my christmas goose after all.

day 2 [destination: koh chang]
today we would make our way to trat and then to the ferry station to get to koh chang island. we got up around 8 am. as i was about to get into the shower i felt the hotel sway back and forth. i sat down for a second not realizing what it was. at first i thought i was experience some sort of odd motion sickness than i realized it felt like an earthquake. i popped my head out of the bathroom just as horace was telling vicky that it was a earthquake. having felt so many in california i really didn't think much about it. none of us did. downstairs at breakfast nothing was even mentioned about the earthquake and soon we'd forget all about it as we gorged ourselves with at the buffet. it was so nice to have eggs, bacon, sausages, pancakes, etc. all the breakfast things i've taken for granted especially the bacon. they had these potato things that were so good. and miny hamburgers too. after breakfast we checked out and caught a cab to the train station where we purchased tickets for trat. the trip down to trat was about 5 hours. we stopped at a couple of little places for rest. at one of the stops i caught one of the monks peeking into the women's bathroom. dirty monk. once at trat we had to get into a jeep/taxi that took us to the ferry station. this was about a 20-40 minute ride. it was pretty cool passing through all the little towns along the way. at the ferry station which was basically a bunch of little shacks that made up a tiny village, we purchased tickets then sat at a table and had some beer. we had to wait for the vans that were going to take us to the boat. we had about 20 mins. or so to relax. they loaded us up in three different vans. of course i got separated from horace and vicky but that was fine with me. during the van ride some guy was talking about the earthquake and how some people had died at phi phi island. he didn't really have any more information than that. no of us even knew about the tsunami at this point. the boat that was taking us to koh chang looked like an asian fishing boat. we threw our bags in the front with all the others and made our way to the back. since it was completely filled we decided to climb up to the roof like some others did. the ride over to koh chang was absolutely beautiful. it was so amazing to be on a boat, in thailand, riding across the water. i thought i was dreaming. of course i ended up talking to two lesbians who were also on the roof. will i ever escape them. the sun had set by the time we reached the other side. we now had to figure out which pickup truck would take us to sea view. it seems that the pickup trucks are the taxis here on the island. there were 19 people crammed into the back. that left 3 people to have to stand on the back. i just happened to be one of those lucky 3. it was actually kind of cool standing on the back. well except for the fact that i had to pee so bad. i'm still amazed that this truck made it up some of these hills. as we approached each steep hill i think we we going like 5 mph. at one point i was tempted to whip it out and pee off the side. but then i thought that might even be too trashy for me. finally after 40 mins. we arrived at the hotel which was amazing. i didn't expect it to be so nice. i left horace and vickie to find the toilet. of course as i was looking all over there were all these fountains and the sound of water. talk about painful. we were driven in a golf cart to our bungalow [3110]. there was an elephant head hanging over the door. the room itself was small but nice. we had a balcony that faced the water and we were set high in the hill. we put our stuff down and went to eat at the hotel restaurant. i had shrimp cakes that were very delicious. after dinner we walked around the resort area. there was a spa, a horizon pool that looked out onto the beach, a beach bar which closes at 7 or so [kind of weird since its a resort and all], and lots of swings and wooden chairs along the sand. it was like paradise. since the beach bar was closed we went back up to the hotel to have a drink. we managed to have one drink before they too were closing. it was only 10:30pm. whats up with this place. this one girl was giving us, especially horace, total attitude. excuse us if we'd like to have a drink while on vacation. we asked at the front desk if there was a bar nearby and they pointed us down the beach. so off we went down the beach looking for a cocktail or two. thats when we came across the "porn bar" which would become our new home while here. the whole thing was wide open and built on a deck. to enter the bar you had to take your shoes off. the tables were low to the ground and made of wood. around them cushions were placed on the floor for us to sit. it was great to sit outside, smell the ocean air, and listen to the water. the music selection was quite good too. the bartenders and staff were all very nice. we stayed for a drink or two and then headed back to our bungalow in the hill. the walk down the beach at night was awesome. as i climbed up the stairs of the loft, which went straight up killed your feet, i felt like i was back living on the haight. needless to say i slept like a baby.