deery-lou.
previously on the e-list…
it started out simple enough. a few photos from high school posted on facebook by a friend. that prompted me to bust out my old albums and upload the photos i had. which in turn lead to another friend to post some photos, then another, and another, and another, etc. now, with pandora's box having been opened there's no stopping, i've become a man obsessed with scanning the past. three albums down and a whole lot more to go. the trip down memory lane has been somewhat bittersweet, especially when seeing those faces of friends who have since passed on. with each page i turned, i am transported to the past: high school, boston, europe, etc. as i looked through album after album, i couldn't help but notice how happy everyone seemed, including myself. this made me reflect on life now and how mundane it feels. i'm beginning to wonder if i'm bored with life or simply just bored with sf. lately, i've become quite content to stay home. i don't feel the need to do anything or go anywhere. my motivation has left the building. where did my creative energy go? did i forget to pack it when i returned from korea? as much as i try to ignite it, it always seems to burn out. i keep looking for that spark, but have yet to find it. i'm not quite sure if revisiting the past was such a good idea. it has made me yearn for those days when life was so carefree. i can't help but wonder if i've hit that point in our lives when we start to question everything. wondering if the choices we made were the right ones. i can't help but to look at the faces of strangers around me and wonder if they are truly happy. or, are they simply going through the motion. appearance is a funny thing. we can make others see exactly what we want them to. i've always imagined that i'd been in a different space than where i am now. i'm not quite sure where i veered off the path, but i did. the trick now is to find the one that leads me back. i am now a boy in search of himself. until next time…
stay gold & be well…
3 comments:
Ooh, E, what a place to be. "a boy in search of himself". I can't wait to see what you uncover. I loved you in Boston, just as I do now. And I'll most definitely love the future you. woo hoo to the unveiling!
SF is a tricky place. They call it Oz for a reason, Dorthy. Just stay on the road of gold and you'll always find home.
your friend for life,
toto
Hey man, sometimes the path seems easy to navigate, and sometimes it meanders. Just stay on it.
Your efforts to scan and publish those photos are much appreciated.
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