devil in my car

deery-lou.
previously on the e-list…

it started out simple enough. a few photos from high school posted on facebook by a friend. that prompted me to bust out my old albums and upload the photos i had. which in turn lead to another friend to post some photos, then another, and another, and another, etc. now, with pandora's box having been opened there's no stopping, i've become a man obsessed with scanning the past. three albums down and a whole lot more to go. the trip down memory lane has been somewhat bittersweet, especially when seeing those faces of friends who have since passed on. with each page i turned, i am transported to the past: high school, boston, europe, etc. as i looked through album after album, i couldn't help but notice how happy everyone seemed, including myself. this made me reflect on life now and how mundane it feels. i'm beginning to wonder if i'm bored with life or simply just bored with sf. lately, i've become quite content to stay home. i don't feel the need to do anything or go anywhere. my motivation has left the building. where did my creative energy go? did i forget to pack it when i returned from korea? as much as i try to ignite it, it always seems to burn out. i keep looking for that spark, but have yet to find it. i'm not quite sure if revisiting the past was such a good idea. it has made me yearn for those days when life was so carefree. i can't help but wonder if i've hit that point in our lives when we start to question everything. wondering if the choices we made were the right ones. i can't help but to look at the faces of strangers around me and wonder if they are truly happy. or, are they simply going through the motion. appearance is a funny thing. we can make others see exactly what we want them to. i've always imagined that i'd been in a different space than where i am now. i'm not quite sure where i veered off the path, but i did. the trick now is to find the one that leads me back. i am now a boy in search of himself. until next time…

stay gold & be well…

she's lost control

deery-lou.
you know you're bored or simply just putting off what needs to be done when you find yourself organizing your bookmarks. yes. that is how i spent my break time today. it's amazing all the crap that i had saved.

its only tuesday and i keep wishing it was friday. its not like i have any special plans for the upcoming weekend. its just that i'm finding myself completely bored these days. teaching has become somewhat routine. its like i'm on autopilot. that can't be good. hopefully the upcoming vacation will spark some life into me. i still love it here but i feel that my life needs something else. as to what that is, i have no idea.

the mustangs are playing a show this weekend. i'm on the fence about whether or not i want to go. i saw the flyer for the show a couple of weeks ago. i must say they look hot in the photo. and the poster looked way cool.


the whole thing definitely sounds interesting. the drag queen show has me slightly intrigued. although one can never be sure about these things. sometimes they don't pan out like you imagine. however, they always put on a great show so perhaps it would be good to chill out and listen to some good live music. plus i might just be surprised by the whole thing. who knows. i still have a few more days to think about.

stay gold & be well…