you better run

deery-lou.
it's 4:39 pm, friday, april 27 in california. coachella officially started at 2pm. my friends have rented a pad in palm springs and most likely spent the morning sitting poolside. this is the third year i've missed and i must say that this year's lineup looks awesome. not a huge fan of giant concert events, coachella is quite unlike all the others. a day spent in the sun, listening to excellent music, drinking beers, and hanging with great friends. but the best part is chillin at the house before and after the day's event. the one thing i can say is that i've never been bored there. about to take to the various stages are: silversun pickups, of montreal, david guetta, tilly and the walls, and gillian welch. what i wouldn't do to be there. the one thing i truly miss about being home besides the obvious friends and family is the music. since living in korea i feel so out of touch. thankfully though i have my friends and bagelradio to keep me updated. perhaps 2008 will be my return to the music festival.

this week i've still found myself in a constant struggle. that is basically motivating myself to teach. the kids are great but i feel like i'm burnt out. teaching non-stop from 9:30 to 5:40 on monday, wednesday, and friday has definitely taken its toll. then throw in the disorganization of the kindergarten school and you've got yourself a mess. i keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel but its barely flicking. for now i'm just trying to get through until vacation comes in july. the one thing i don't want to happen is for my negative attitude towards the school to reflect onto the children. so everyday i try my best to put on the "happy" face for all the little faces. amongst the teachers and staffers i feel like an outsider. its come to my attention that some things have been said about me. granted i know people talk crap and that doesn't really bother me its more of how this particular individual has a way making it appear like "poor me". i can't help it for you can't do your job. and believe me i'm not afraid to tell you so. from my experience the korean teachers at my school don't like confrontation. so instead of talking to you about a problem they might have they'll just whine and complain to each other. i guess the charm had to wear off sometime. i had a good two and half years there so perhaps the cards are telling me to start a new game.

its been 14 days since "the bf" [can i even call him that anymore] told me he needed a week to reflect on his life. which leaves me to contemplate my next move. do i call/contact him? or just wait to see if he'll do it. the hardest thing about this whole situation is how he kept telling me he needed to talk to me when he got back to korea and since he's been back he's barely made contact. sometimes you need to grow a pair and face things head on. at this point i just want to know where we stand. but i have a feeling, due to the lack of contact where its going. now its just a matter of hearing it for myself.

stay gold & be well…