hot, hot, heat...

deery-lou.

here it is day 6 of my vacation...and i've done absolutely nothing which feels great. most of the time when i come home to visit i feel like i have to be on the go nonstop. not so this time. my vacation started out last saturday, july 23 at 6am korean time. after a taxi ride, bus ride, 3 planes, and 7 hours of airport terminal waiting i arrived in miami at 10:35 pm. i had been up for a record 30 hours. i couldn't sleep much on the plane no matter how hard i tired. i kept being tempted by all the bad movies that were being shown. here's what i saw: sahara [boring], man of the house [kind of amusing in a bad way], ice princess [don't ask], and some stupid show where they switch lives for a day. on that show melissa rivers switched with some surf bum. why do i watch this crap? i know going into it they're not going to be any good but that doesn't stop me. i also got in a few rounds of solitaire and tried some other games. although i will confess it took me 20 minutes to figure out the controls. overall the flight was pretty uneventful. i thought being back in the states would feel strange but it really doesn't. it pretty much feels like i've never left. the only thing is that now when i'm out i can understand what people are saying. i think i like it better the other way. some people can be so damn obnoxious. on sunday morning i spent some time with my sister's family before heading off to orlando. davis, my nephew, wanted to watch me do everything from pea to shaving to showering. he'd come into my room point at everything and ask "what's that". at one point i had davis and paige listening to my "let's learn korean" tape. it was so cute watching them try to pronounce the words. they might actually learn it before me. both paige and davis are absolutely adorable. [footnote: davis is here now helping me type. he keeps saying "i messed it up again" as he hits random keys]. and baby morgan is the cutest ever. the drive to orlando was three long hours. trying to find a decent radio station was quite a challenge. the next two and half days was spent with my parents and grandma. my parents looked good, especially my dad. it was good to see that he didn't let his surgery get the best of him. my grandmother on the other hand looked old. she definitely not the same woman who's house i'd stop at on the way home from school. unfortunately thats life. at least she seemed in good spirits. my visit with my folks was good. we didn't really do much but hang at home but that was fine with me. mom and i did manage a target a run. we tend to do that every time i'm in town. it was a fun little outing and mom even bought me a t-shirt. how sweet is that. i even managed to see a few of my friends while i was in town. tracy, karen, hillary, and i all went out monday night for some beers. then on tuesday we were joined by teri. it felt like i was back in high school or something. it was really great seeing all of them. i had a great time. before leaving to go back to my sister's on wednesday i had the BIG talk with my parents. i wanted to do it on the first day but couldn't quite get the courage. on wednesday i felt it was now or another year from now and i felt that it was about time that knew. i always had a feeling that they knew but i still felt like i had to tell them myself. it was quite emotional as i started to tell them. i actually even started to cry when my dad hugged me. i didn't realize how hard it would be to get the words out. deep down i knew that nothing would change but one still can't help to think that they might be disappointed or look at you differently. my dad and i stood there for awhile just hugging. i was more scared of his reactions then my moms. i knew my mom would be fine. my dad was the wildcard. he told me that he loves me no matter what. it was good to hear. i gave my mom a hug and then we all walked outside. i hugged them both goodbye and then drove off. it felt like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. the "coming out" and seeing the house at 386 new waterford place for the last time was like finishing a chapter of a book. there were a few times when i brought out and started crying as i drove donw the florida turnpike. but it was good cry because i finally feel like i can now be me. here's looking ahead to a new and exciting future. i can't wait to see what lies ahead.

be well...