you don't know me

alice, sweet alice

deery-lou.
what do get when 20 children show up at school at 8pm in their pajamas? a pajama party gone crazy. advise to parents: a pj party should have a max of 7 kids. well as you can see i survived my sleep over at school. from the minute the little rugrats entered there was mayhem. i secretly think their moms shot them up with sugar. the evening started off with them playing with flashlights. we tried to organize a game with the flashlights but it just ended up with them running around the playroom in the dark doing whatever they wanted with their flashlights. there was whining was the batteries died, crying when one was lost, and screaming for the hell of it. they seemed to enjoy themselves so thats all that really matters. following the flashlight free for all we played hide and seek. they've still yet to master the concept of the game. many of them hide together and a few forgot to turn off their flashlights. snack time followed hide and seek. obviously my definition of snacks and the korean moms version is different. when i was a children enjoying the pleasures of a sleep over snacks consisted of potato chips, pretzels, chocolate, dips, soda, popcorn, etc. the mom's served up snacks that would be perfect for a picnic: chicken wings, herb chicken with potatoes, salad, watermelon, and some strange toast cheese thing topped with cherries. for drinks they supplied orange and grape juice.

tv time

snacks by moms

esther & skye

don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. the food was very good. it just wasn't what i had in mind. the children had a hard time managing their mouse plates. a few ended up on the floor with food going everywhere. fancy sundaes followed the snacks. i'm still wondering why the teachers didn't get any sundaes. hmmmm. we set up the library for the children to sleep in. we attempted for them to watch mary poppins but they seemed quite bored. luckily i brought some cartoons so i popped in a teen titans dvd. i love introducing them to superheroes. we watched three episodes before telling them they had to go to sleep. most of them went down without a problem. there were a few girls who got the case of chatter bugs. andy was a bit more difficult to get settled. he insisted on having his flashlight with him. after battling with him for 10 minutes we decided he could have it. he got quiet immediately. i didn't sleep much that night. the room got extremely warm and my body kept getting stuck on the mat i was sleeping on. i was up by 7:30am and went into my classroom where i could cool off. breakfast consisted of kimbab, noodles, cakes, and cookies. don't ask. after breakfast we played two more games. one where they tried to bite chips hanging off a string and the other where they throw plastic balls at handmade pinatas. they loved throwing the balls. i think most of them ending up hitting each other. around 10:30 they all headed home. i made my way home shortly after that and spent my day doing nothing.

for pictures of the pj party click here

stay gold & be well…

scale

I have a sequin for an eye
Pick a rose and hide my face
This is a bandit's life
It comes and goes and mends the breaks
Under a molten sky, beyond the road, we lie in wait
You think they know us now?
Wait 'til the stars come out
You'll see that…

deery lou.
youth. there are days when i sometimes yearn to return to my youth. to a time when things are so new. a time when you have the whole world at your feet. just waiting for you to take a piece of it. we had our monthly visit to the swimming pool today. of course it was raining, not that it really matters since its indoors. however, it seems to rain every pool day. i met a friend today at the pool while i was sitting on the stairs watching my students go around and around the circular pool. we got to talking. his english was good. most likely the result of having lived in canada since he was 8 years old. i found out he is spending his summer in korea with his family. he told me his dad lives in korea while the rest of his family lives in canada. at first i thought he was a college student but later found out he was in high school. fifteen to be precise. that's what got me thinking about when i was 15. he seemed completely bored. the result of having no friends in korea. we chatted for a bit, then i had to go round up students who were wildly running around the pool.

there was a lot more action at the pool this time. i didn't wear my contacts or glasses so it was kind of hard to keep track of the kids. for a while i had to play boat with joanna, who just so happens to be the biggest girl in our school. we were chasing sea monsters. we managed to kill at least 7 of them. i did manage to squeeze in a little break by sneaking off to the pool area that has the massaging jets. it felt so good. there was also a group of "special" needs adults at the pool. one of them kept bobbing up and down the whole time they went around. every time he passed someone he would splash them. i'm not sure if he was aware of the strength he had. it made me nervous every time he got near one of the children. on one of his passes he stopped in front of my as i sat on the edge of the pool. he held out his hand as if he wanted to shake. i returned the gesture. before i knew what had happened he had pulled me into the water. i had be right. he was quite strong. i managed to break his grip. he went on bobbing down the pool. one of the people watching them came over and bowed and said sorry. so while most of the teachers were watching the students, anna teacher [the head teacher] spent the pool time sleeping in a lounge chair. i still can't believe it. if only i had my camera to capture that kodak moment. her laziness has gotten out of control. and now that she claims to be pregnant it's only gotten worse. she's not married so i'm not exactly sure what the school's is going to be about that. and the dad happens to be one of the bus drivers. its like i'm living in my own personal korean drama.

tomorrow night is our pajama party. the kindergarten classes are going to be spending the night at school. i'm actually dreading the sleep over. i mean who the hell wants to spend the night at school. not me. it has the makings of pure chaos. i just hope they get good snacks. after all snacks can make or break a party.

stay gold & be well…

paint's peeling

deery-lou.
so the picture you see above was drawn by andy. andy's one of those "special" children. he's definitely in his own little world but often times his art is so expressive. not sure what it is about his stick figures but they speak volumes to me. lately he's been on a kick where he is fixated on his pink watch. every five seconds he's checking the time. i have to tell him 3 or 4 times to stop looking at the watch. now when i call his name he says "yes, no watch." love that little guy.

on friday night i met up with some my fellow foreign co-workers for some beers. i ended up at some underground russian bar in the middle of an apartment complex. it was like walking into a completely different world. a world where korean was the language of choice. even the asians spoke russian. they didn't know a word of korean. it was some girl's birthday which meant vodka shots were happening all night long. i finally had to drag myself out of there around 3 am. this body just can't handle vodka shots.

on saturday i went to itaewon to get a visa for vietnam. yes, i'm going to vietnam for vacation. i decided at the last minute that i should take advantage of going to one more place before heding back to the states. i'm going with no set agenda. i sort of just want to experience what happens when ni get there. it should be exciting.

heading off to hongdae to meet up with a friend for lunch. i'm starting to get in my final goodbyes before the big day on sept 1. i'm really looking forward to getting back home. its been too long.

stay gold & be well…

sundrops [strings version]

deery-lou.
a little post script to my "hardy boys mystery". on friday sticky fingers brought me a present. most likely a peace offering from her mother. could it be money?a watch?something expensive and flashy? all of these thoughts were running through my mind. i waited until the end of day to open it. to my horror it was two packs of STICKERS. nothing like the ones her thieving daughter took. instead i was subjected to smiley faces and mushrooms. MUSHROOMS! my thoughts exactly. on the package of stickers was a post-it written in korea. i took the liberty of translating it myself. in my mind it read: "dear ethan teacher. i'm so sorry for the actions of my thieving daughter. she has brought great shame to our family name. please accept these stickers on her behalf. if she is caught stealing again we will cut off her hands. sincerely sticky fingers mom."
in actuality the note said something like these: "i couldn't find the exact stickers skye took. i hope these will be ok. i'm truly sorry for her actions."sticky fingers has now taken up to being my nbf. she's always sitting next to me. i heard through the grapevine that she is becoming quite the naughty little girl outside of class. saying rude things to other students. of course i'd never know since its all said in korean. however, as long as she stays a little angel in my class i'll forgive her.

my apartment is in chaos. i have crap all over the place. i've been trying to pack some stuff up to ship. i did manage to get one box sent but the rest of the stuff is on my floor. i had good intentions of doing some packing yesterday but that dam internet stopped my. somehow i got sucked into d-list and facebook. then i decided to watch two episodes of charlies angels to finish off the box set so that i could pack them away. i'm also doing some marathon reading for all the books i don't want to keep. i sure am busy doing nothing.

stay gold & be well…

i'm the only one

deery-lou.
tonight the hardy boys in the mystery of the stolen stickers. the part of frank hardy will be played by yours truly.hehe. a couple of weeks ago i noticed that a stack of stickers were missing from my drawer at school. then a few days later some candy was gone. my first thought was to install a baby cam to catch the culprit but i knew the koreans wouldn't go for it. then i thought perhaps i'll set up a sting operation but that required too much work. i spoke to my students about going through my stuff hoping that the guilty one would confess. then i realized that they probably had no clue as to what i was saying. as the days passed i sat thinking about you could have taken them. the prime suspects would be the kindergarten kids since they spend the most time at school. but which one of those cuties could be behind such an act. they all look so innocent. i asked the korean teachers to speak to the students. it seemed that i was the only one who thought this was a big deal. it finally took some stickers missing from a korean teachers room for them to finally speak to them. unfortunately the guilty one still didn't confess. i tried snooping in their backpacks but didn't turn up anything. by now i figured the case would forever go unsolved. my luck would soon change when the other day i was looking at their daily report journals. sweet innocent skye's journal was decorated with stickers. stickers that happened to look exactly like the ones missing from my desk. coincidence, i think not. i mentioned it to the korean teachers. they all seemed surprised. it seems like syke has a case of sticky fingers which has now become her nickname. it makes perfect sense since sticky fingers guards her backpack as if it were gold. so yesterday in between classes elizabeth teacher told me that sticky fingers had something to say to me. i could see tears forming in her eyes. it took a few minutes but she was finally able to say sorry for taking my stickers. i immediately wanted to call the police but they felt that would be a bit harsh. i'm a firm believer that they are never too young for strict punishment. according to elizabeth who had asked sticky fingers about all her stickers, she first said that she found them stuck to her shoe in the playroom. not only does she steal but she's a mastermind at lying too. when elizabeth said she was going to call her mom the story changed. sticky fingers admitted that she wanted the stickers so while everyone was in the playroom she went into my classroom to get them. BUSTED!!! i tried to get her to confess to the candy but she didn't. i'm keeping a close eye on sticky fingers these days. she's a crafty one.

another case solved!

stay gold & be well…

of the bull

deery-lou.
it's the end of yet another month which meant birthday time at school. we had one birthday boy for the month, brian. the day included singing, eating cake, and playing games. once again the children were hopped up on sugar and ran around like crazy. parties always seem much longer than normal days. i had to stop a few children from eating too much cake. they were overdosing on sugar icing.

esther & me

happy jason

jazz hands

on a different note, i've decided to bid farewell to korea on september 1. yes, i will be returning to home. its been a great three years living here but this past year i found myself truly missing friends and family. i'm quite excited and nervous to return to san francisco. i can't wait to once again hang with peeps that mean so much to me. it appears my social calendar is already filling up with concerts, weekends away, and a wedding. its a return to the living.

64 days and counting…

pictures from the birthday party can be found here

stay gold & be well…

international dateline

deery-lou.
i posted a new entry in the poetry section of shot&scrawled.
check it out if you got the time.

stay gold & be well…

balloon flower

deery-lou.
last night i went to see stone jazz with young and her friend. now keep in mind i'm not a huge jazz fan so when young first asked me to go i was somewhat reluctant. but seeing that life is all about new experiences i decided to go. i must say the show was amazing. they group incorporated jazz standards using the [contra bass, drum, piano] with traditional korean instruments [gayageum, haegm, and piri]. it was quite breathe taking. i love the sounds of the traditional korean instruments especially the haegm. surprisingly enough i actually knew a lot of the songs. and to hear them composed in such a way truly an experience. the band members are all korean and they had such a presence on stage. during some of the songs they had shadow dancers which were fun to watch. after the show i bought two of their cds on eastern angle, which included most of the songs they played that night and crossover korean soul, where they arranged korean folk songs to jazz. if you ever have a chance to check them out you should. take for a non-jazz fan, its well worth it.

lee wonsoo, composer/arrangements

on our way home home young and i got to witness some college kid throwing up on the subway. the best part was how his friend busted out the tissues and starting to clean it up. now thats true friendship. if such a thing happened back at home the mess would have be left for someone else to clean it. i will say this though, it was sans chunks so it really just looked like water. it sure was funny though to see all these people run away. i also noticed something else a bit more disturbing as i left young's apartment around 1:30 am. as i was coming down the stairs i ran into a woman. as i passed her she called out to someone. when i got to the front door of the apartment building there was a man with his penis out taking a piss right there in the entry way. come on. couldn't he have held it for the few flights up the stairs.

yesterday was also a good day for t-shirts. there were four that stood out among the crowd all worn by guys. the first was a pink shirt that said "every jack and gill". um, hi. gill is spelled with a "j". next there was the the "i have the money" with giant gold dollar signs. then was the boy were the justin timberlake shirt. however the best was the strip polo shirt i saw on this guy on the subway. he was standing a few feet away and i noticed on the breast of his shirt the letters "botto". i couldn't see the last letter because the strap of his bag was covering it. it was killing me. i kept staring hoping that he would move his bag but he didn't. by the time my stop came i still hadn't seen that last letter. when i got off i notice that he had too. he was leaning on the railing with his back exposed. knowing how all korean shirts have crap on the back i though here's my chance. sure enough in giant letters on the back of his stripy polo was the word "BOTTOM". oh if he only knew. you got to love korea for shit like that.

stay gold & be well…

p.s. i forgot to mention in yesterday's post that when i was showering one of the 5 year olds he decided to take a piss in the shower. i kept looking around as i was hosing it away hoping that no one noticed. no one did.

biological

deery-lou.
another day at the pool with the kids has come and gone. this time around we only golfed and swam. no dancing. sigh… alot of the kids were complaining about blisters they got from swinging the golf clubs. a couple of the kids are actually quite good at it. andy was having an off day. he didn't want to do anything and most of the time i spent keeping an eye on him. he was running around like a mad man. pool time was pretty uneventful. they are pretty good at entertaining themselves in the water so all we really have to do is watch them. i took some time for myself and went into the massaging pool. i met an old korean woman there who kept telling me what to do. she didn't speak english but i did my best to figure out what she was saying. the massaging pool felt great. still haven't mastered the shower time with the boys. they still manage to run around like crazy graping the shower nozzles and shooting water all over the place. its hard not to laugh when they are doing it. not sure how parents deal on a regular basis.

the another day during art class i was sitting at my desk while the children were working on their project. i caught wind of this conversation where sarah kept looking for her pencil and eventually found it.

sarah: hey jon.
jon: what?
sarah: it fun. my pencil here. [points to the floor]. it fun.
irene: what fun?
sarah: my pencil here. [points to the floor]. it fun.
irene: it fun.
jon: it fun.

stay gold & be well…

p.s. i scored some homemade pickles from sarah's mom. yummy

joshua

andy, the map reader

deery-lou.
this was quite a week for me to say the least. a lot has been going which i'm not quite ready to discuss here yet. hence my week long absence from posting. at school we had three days of sex education videos. one about where babies come from, another about it being ok to be yourself, and the last one about sex crimes. going into this i felt the children were too young for such films. however, the korean teachers said that its usually taught at this age so who am i to disagree. the films were in korean with english subtitles which made for some interesting translations. the animation was pretty good. there were a couple of times i tried not to laugh. not really sure the children completely understood the messages but they all seemed to love the anime. they were watching it again for a second time on friday for fun. the films were far different than the jimmy cricket film i saw about puberty in 5th grade.

on thursday we went to seoul land zoo. it was hot! the children were broken up into age groups [7 years old and 5-6 years old]. i was with the 7 years old. we weren't even at the zoo 10 minutes when some of them starting complaining. it was definitely going to be a long day. i was partnered up with andy. he is quite hard to control at times. although he was actually pretty good that day. i made him in charge of the map and that seemed to make him happy. until he kept asking me where the bus was over and over again. he wanted to go home but i told him we couldn't go home until after the dolphin show. during snack time i watched alice literally stuff chip after chip into her mouth. almost as if she was afraid she wouldn't get enough. kids sure are cute that way.

the dolphin show

fountain fun

snack time

as for zoos go it was pretty standard. nothing really unique about it. by far the best zoo i've seen has been in singapore. my favorite of the day were the otters. they are so peaceful. i could spend hours just watching them play around in the water. i want to come back as an otter. that way i can swim, play, and sleep all day long. although every time i see otters it makes be think of this sad movie we saw in grade school. what's up with all these movies from my past haunting me? its another hot and beautiful weekend here. i should really try to do something besides going out to get my haircut. hehe.

my otter video


zoo pictures here

stay gold & be well…

rock bottom

deery-lou.
yesterday the kindergarten school took a field trip to a farm to plant sweet potatoes and to pick plums. now when one says "farm" back home we think of tractors, animals, barns, etc. farms in korea aren't quite the same. there were no tractors, no animals, and no barns to speak of. instead there was a small house sort of like a mobile home, a small field, some dogs in cages, and it was right off the main road. i'm not sure i'd say it was one of the better field trips but the children did seem to enjoy themselves. then again children can have fun almost anywhere. the drive to the farm took almost two hours due to traffic. and let's just say it was anything but uneventful. we had two girls with stomach aches, 3 girls who peed on the bus in a plastic bag, and one girl who threw up. the fun never stops. at the farm the children planted sweet potato stalks, picked some sort of plum they use to made wine and other stuff with, and learned about different kinds of crops. i spent most of my time lifting children up to pick the plums off the high branches. thankfully the trip back only took an hour.

today is a holiday. not sure how i'm gonna spend my day. perhaps a little reading and relaxing is what the doctor ordered. it's amazing how exhausting the field trips can be. the weather has been getting warmer and warmer. it feels like its going to be another hot summer here. i hope everyone is doing well. take care.

check out the farm pictures here

stay gold & be well…

23

deery-lou.
on thursday we took a trip to the pool with the kindergarten class. this place was huge. it had a sauna floor, pool area, exercise room, and a driving range. the day started off with the kids learning how to golf at the indoor driving range. clubs were swinging erratically and balls were flying everywhere. they had a blast. then it was to the gym for the kids to unwind. they ran around like wild animals. andy kept calling me "ethan monster" the whole time. next the kids set off to learn a jazz routine. it was so funny watching them. a few just stood there not able to follow the moves. the best was skye who was totally getting into it. she was bumping and grinding with the best of them. a future star in the making. once the jazz class was finished we headed outside to the park for some lunch. after lunch it was pool time. this is were the madness set in. marc and i were in search of getting the boys ready. it was definitely a chore. we had to undress them, give them their bathing suits, and then pack of their old clothes. we tried doing it in groups of two. andy kept trying to take off his clothes before it was his time. i guess he was a bit anxious to get to the pool. it felt like it took hours. once they were dressed and ready to go we heading down to the pool area to await the girls arrival. we spent the next two hours swimming. there was one pool with slides that the kids loved. there was also a current pool where you went around in a circle and a few other pools. there was also a hot tube which was lovely. after swimming we had to take the boys back to the showers and wash their hair. this was chaos. the boys were running around like wild men. they also decided to have water fights with the shower nozzles. they were shooting water over to the area where people were having massages. it was definitely a workout keeping them in line. overall i think we did a good job managing them. hopefully next time marc and i will have our routine done with the dressing and washing. i found out that it only cost $10 for the aquatic package which includes the pool, men's hot tub room, and co-ed sauna. i know where i'll be spending my free time this summer.

here's a video from jazz class


check out the photos i took here

stay gold & be well…

alone together

deery-lou.
last friday we had a birthday party for caleb which lasted half the day. the other half was spent going over the "no tv week" activity book that the students had to do at home. i had to head the "no tv week" show and tell. needless to say it consisted of me doing all the talking. at least i got them to give me one word answers like "yes", "bike", etc. all in all it was pretty slack day. gotta love it.

here's a video of the kids


to see photos of the celebration click here!

stay gold & be well…

scatterbrain

deery-lou.
i've added an new entry to the poetry section of shot&scrawled. check it out & tell me your thoughts.

it's a holiday today. buddha's birthday. which means no school. yeah! but why was i up at 6:30 am. sob! happy birthday buddha.

stay gold & be well…

fine time

deery-lou.
fashion hurts! my new shoes finally arrived last week. i so love them. on the bottom they have a picture of a dragon. hehe. although i forgot how much it sucks breaking in new shoes. both of my heels have major blisters. however, that's the price one pays for looking good. and they so make me stylish. hopefully the process of breaking them in won't take to long. they are such a departure from my big ass platforms. here's a picture of them:


my sunday was spent running around all the beauty shops of ansan looking for a particular hair wax. the place that i originally got it from didn't have it any longer. i must have hit about 10 different shops. all of them a bust. during my jaunt across ansan i did manage to take some photos for my current photo series i'm working on. so at least the entire day wasn't a bust. i sent a text to the x-bf on saturday. as of 9:25 pm on tuesday still no word. hmm. perhaps he really didn't want to talk and just sent the message for the hell of it. thursday is a holiday. yeah! i love having short weeks and then on friday we have an all day party in kindergarten. can work get any better than that. all righty, time to watch the season finale of heroes.

stay gold & be well…

life is but a dream

deery-lou.
life has a funny way of throwing you curves. just as i've started to put the whole ordeal with the "x-bf" behind me he sent me a text last night.
hey sorry about not getting back to u sooner. was out of town for awhile. if u wanna catch up for your stuff and a chat let me know. sorry i took longer then i said. i understand if its to late but i'd still love to talk to you.
which of course brought back all these emotions. i had just gotten off the phone earlier with a friend where i told her i was over. honestly i never really expected to hear back from him. there's a big part of me that just wants to blow it off and continue with the way my life is going. and then there's the part that needs closure. needs to hear what he has to say. the whole "being away" excuse is simply that—an excuse. and a weak one at that. it's at these times that i miss being home the most. not having my closest friends nearby to talk about it. misty and i use to spend many evenings eating ice cream, pie, etc. talking about our boy problems while bad tv played in the background. god, how i miss that. thankfully i caught misty online before she had to work. it wasn't the same but at least it was something. i feel alot better having spoken to her and now know what i need to do. i've decided to go ahead and meet him. although as of this post i have yet to send him a text telling him so. i'm struggling with the words. there's alot i need to say to him and i believe that having a face to face will give me that opportunity. plus i'm curious as to what he has to say. i'm hoping that after we talk i'll finally be able to put it all behind him and move on. i'll be sure to let you know how it all turns out. boys suck! wish me luck.

stay gold & be well…

deck the boy

the e-bat

deery-lou.
what does pole dancing bears, paint it black, and 5:30 am all have in common? my friday night out. more on that in a minute.

friday started off with a trip to the children's museum with the kindergarten class. it was pretty standard as children's museums go. lots of interactive stuff for the children to get their hands on. lots of children running around. lots of tired adults. there was one part of the museum that i found quite odd. in the "family" section they had a doctor office with a pregnant patient. it was set up so that you could give her a sonogram and see the fetus on the scene above her. to the right was a light table display that had various images of the fetus. it just seemed to be a bit much for a children's museum. whatever happened to the good old stork theory.

doctor's office

builder jon

on golden skye

steven in mazeland

that night in my attempt to be more social i went out with some of the teachers from school. we went to junco, your standard hof joint that serves up loads of side dishes, has cheap beer, and by far the tasty chicken ever. for food industry workers they had to be the happiest servers i have ever seen. they were running around smiling, joking with one another, and extremely friendly. something you rarely see in the states. whenever they had to perform the birthday celebration song they all got into it. besides singing they had people wearing a giant bear and wolf head who pole danced. it was definitely a trip to watch. at some point "tee" brought back some koreans she met in the bathroom who joined us. more soju and beer was consumed. the korean guy kept telling us over and over that the girl he was with was his girlfriend. as if he was afraid any of us were trying to hook up with her. not sure he had anything to worry about there. for one thing i'm not into girls and the other is was far from being attractive. meanwhile his so called girlfriend kept telling me she wasn't dating him while she flirted with one of my co-workers. having enough of that we left and went to a noraebang. "c" met a hagwon owner in the bathroom who bought us a round of drinks. we convinced him to sing a song for us. then we had some random korean guy come into our room and ask us to sing a song for his girlfriend. before i realized what was happeing he grabbed me by my hand and dragged me to the singing room where his girlfriend and friends were. he couldn't speak any english so it was quite difficult to figure out what he was saying. i'm not quite sure but i believe he's an eminem fan. at least that's what it sounded like. he wanted me to sing a pop song for his girlfriend and i kept saying i don't do pop song. before i had a chance to sing his girlfriend got up and left. i told him his girlfriend no here, so me no sing. he brought me back to where young and "c" were so that young could translate for him. thats when i found out that he translated what i said earlier about his girlfriend as me telling him to break up with her. the whole time he kept hugging and grabbing me which was making me somewhat uncomfortable. he was definitely putting off a g-vibe. our time ended so we said goodbye to our new friend and headed off. we at bagels at young's place then i made my way home. i got to bed by 5:30 am.

on saturday i treked into seoul to meet up with betsy for her farewell dinner. yes, yet another friend is leaving "the land of the morning calm". it was hard motivating myself. not only was i tired but it was rainy out. a perfect day for laying in bed. dinner was nice. afterwards i bagged out on going to a bar and made my way home.

to view photos from the children's museum go here

stay gold & be well…

when jokers attack

deery-lou.
it's official. i have a new website for my photography & writing. it's called shot&scrawled. i will continue to use this blog for my personal rants. shot&scrawled is strictly for my creative outbursts. i'll be sure to post here any updates made to shot&scrawled. there's a permanent link to the right under the about me section. you can't miss the ever so fabulous photo of me that butterbean took. she's awesome. so far i have one photo series & one poetry entry on the site. if you have some time go take a gander. there's more to come.

stay gold & be well…

something beautiful

deery-lou.
i've been thinking about setting up a new blog for my writing and art. the idea is to have a separate space that doesn't consist of my regular rants of everyday life. i want to create a place were i can showcase my writing [short stories, poetry, etc] as well as some photography series i'm working on that don't involve your typical snapshots. not sure if having two blogs is necessary. so i'm asking you my readers to give me some import. let me know your thoughts. in the meantime, i've finally gotten around to upload the photos from my exhibition in july 2006. enjoy.

stay gold & be well…

white sweater

deery-lou.
for children's day which is may 5 here in korea, we took the kiddies to see spiderman 3. by the time the movie ended only half of them remained. most of them had gotten scared or bored. going to see a movie with a bunch of children is always a chore. i can only imagine how they felt watching a film in english and having to read subtitles. i know if i was their age i'd probably been bored too. overall i thought the movie was pretty decent. don't know if i'd say it was the best of the bunch but it was definitely entertaining. and that's just what movies should be. i could go into depth of what i liked and didn't like about the film but don't want to bore you with with that. i love superheroes films, however, i feel like they never quite come through like i hope they would. by far my favorite has got to be batman returns which is most likely due to michelle pfeiffer's portrayal of catwoman. meow! she kicked ass in that role.

andy, who was sitting in front of me, was quite fidgety throughout the film. numerous times i had to tell him to get off the floor. he also kept asking for popcorn. i had to tell him there was no popcorn today. the film was a bit too much for the children. those that lasted, however, ended up enjoying it so all wasn't lost. after the film we meant up with the other children who left at the park where we had lunch. after lunch they ran around blowing bubbles. i think i had more bubble liquid on me then actual bubbles blown.

stay gold & be well…

still take you home

deery-lou.
the signs keep coming my way. after 2 and half years taekwondo has come to end. at least for now. my kwanjangnim sold his school. both him and sahbomnim are leaving and a new master is taking over. so with that i decided to take a hiatus until i figure out what i want to do. its funny how things work out. for awhile now i've been thinking of a way to quit but never did. i knew that telling kwanjangnim i simply wanted to quit wouldn't fly. and since we had formed a friendship i found it harder and harder to just leave. there was always some amount of guilt lurking in the background, so i stayed. i'm glad i did. even though it took alot for me to show i always felt good afterwards. now my need for an excuse is gone. sure i could stay on, but i never really made a connection with the new master. plus i accomplished what i originally set out to do and that was get a black belt. i tried to talk to kwanjangnim about selling the school. there was a part of him that seemed to regret it. he mentioned how once the papers were signed the new master seemed to change and not in a good way. that was another reason for me not continuing. i mean, if kwanjangnim didn't think much of him as a teacher why would i stay on. kwanjangnim told me to call him if i ever head into seoul and we can catch a movie, have some drinks, etc. we'll see what happens. sometimes its hard keeping in touch with folk. hopefully we will. i wish him all the best in whatever he decides to do next. i did ask him to set up a workout schedule that i can do at home. i'm still waiting for it though. in the meantime i'm gonna take a month off and figure out what i want to do. i feel like i need some form of exercise and i know that if i join a gym i'll never go.

at school today we had "about me" book show and tell. the teachers participated as well. i threw mine together late last night. it was fun looking at the students pictures and hear them talking about themselves. it basically took all day and by the end it was like pulling out your hair. i kept looking for hot dads but there weren't too many of them. the scary thing is that i'm as old as most of the parents. no wonder the kids keep asking if i'm married. i told them that i wanted to be a ninja. hehe. tomorrow is another field trip. we are going to the movies to see spiderman 3. oh the joys of teaching kindergarten.

stay gold & be well…

epiphany

deery-lou.
here's a link to some pictures i took with my 35 mm. they cover various places i've been to over the past couple of months. enjoy.

photos are here.

stay gold & be well…

capturing moods

deery-lou.
* this is a rather old rant that i've been waiting to post. better late than never

ever since the arrival of our new teachers back in august, whom i'll refer to as kazilla, the two-headed monster, our school hasn't quite been the same. they brought with them an air of negativity, disrespectfulness, immaturity, and blatant laziness. kazilla seems to be of the "me" generation. not really concerned with others except themselves. being a fellow american, their actions were often quite embarrassing. on several occasions the koreans have asked if their behavior is typical of americans. to which i had to answer no. kazilla is of the sort that love to hear themselves speak. no matter how inappropriate it is. a needy being. kazilla was looking for anything out there to make itself feel good. its a needy creature. i was quite happy when kazilla quit my taekwondo class. they often treated my master with disrespect and would run its mouth about inappropriate things. once kazilla was discussing how it was going to please her man over the weekend. i don't care if the kids understand english or not. that kind of conversation should not be discussed in a class with children. kazilla's antics didn't stop there. even at school it often treated the job with discontempt. kazilla came in late, spoke in a language unsuitable for school, and discussed personal matters in the classroom. i got word that kazilla told her students she had over 50 boyfriends. then she went on to discuss the private lives of other teachers including myself. mainly how this teacher liked that one and how i liked boys. i'm not ashamed of being gay but there are certain things about my life especially being in korea that just aren't meant for the students to know. i have sat back for the past five months holding my breathe. it got to a point where my boss asked me not to speak to them. it blows my mind that people don't know how to behave in a professional manner. during our halloween party i had to ask kazilla twice to get off the computer [she was on msn] and stay with her class. had kazilla been working back in the states they would have long been fired from this job. but seeing that this is korea and the stakes for the koreans are much higher its just not that simply. this past week kazilla quit. needless to say i was thrilled. hopefully now we'll get back on track.

update: there was a brief moment when my boss tried to convince one of them to stay longer. which i couldn't believe. i think that was the point where i lost complete faith in the school. even though she said she would she left that weekend leaving a note telling them. kazilla is definitely going to have a rude awakening back in the states. but good riddance.

stay gold & be well…

aisha

deery-lou.
yesterday two of my students were struck with a need to create art. have they been watching shear genius [the project runway for hairdressers]? i know i have especially since former angel jacyln smith is the host. anyway, i sat back and let them create their master piece using crayons and my hair. here's what they can up with:

the final creation

top view

lily, one of the artist

stay gold & be well…

you better run

deery-lou.
it's 4:39 pm, friday, april 27 in california. coachella officially started at 2pm. my friends have rented a pad in palm springs and most likely spent the morning sitting poolside. this is the third year i've missed and i must say that this year's lineup looks awesome. not a huge fan of giant concert events, coachella is quite unlike all the others. a day spent in the sun, listening to excellent music, drinking beers, and hanging with great friends. but the best part is chillin at the house before and after the day's event. the one thing i can say is that i've never been bored there. about to take to the various stages are: silversun pickups, of montreal, david guetta, tilly and the walls, and gillian welch. what i wouldn't do to be there. the one thing i truly miss about being home besides the obvious friends and family is the music. since living in korea i feel so out of touch. thankfully though i have my friends and bagelradio to keep me updated. perhaps 2008 will be my return to the music festival.

this week i've still found myself in a constant struggle. that is basically motivating myself to teach. the kids are great but i feel like i'm burnt out. teaching non-stop from 9:30 to 5:40 on monday, wednesday, and friday has definitely taken its toll. then throw in the disorganization of the kindergarten school and you've got yourself a mess. i keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel but its barely flicking. for now i'm just trying to get through until vacation comes in july. the one thing i don't want to happen is for my negative attitude towards the school to reflect onto the children. so everyday i try my best to put on the "happy" face for all the little faces. amongst the teachers and staffers i feel like an outsider. its come to my attention that some things have been said about me. granted i know people talk crap and that doesn't really bother me its more of how this particular individual has a way making it appear like "poor me". i can't help it for you can't do your job. and believe me i'm not afraid to tell you so. from my experience the korean teachers at my school don't like confrontation. so instead of talking to you about a problem they might have they'll just whine and complain to each other. i guess the charm had to wear off sometime. i had a good two and half years there so perhaps the cards are telling me to start a new game.

its been 14 days since "the bf" [can i even call him that anymore] told me he needed a week to reflect on his life. which leaves me to contemplate my next move. do i call/contact him? or just wait to see if he'll do it. the hardest thing about this whole situation is how he kept telling me he needed to talk to me when he got back to korea and since he's been back he's barely made contact. sometimes you need to grow a pair and face things head on. at this point i just want to know where we stand. but i have a feeling, due to the lack of contact where its going. now its just a matter of hearing it for myself.

stay gold & be well…

girl afraid

deery-lou.
some days you just need a little rainbow connection.



debbie harry rocks!!

stay gold & be well…

mr. kadali

deery-lou.
what do you get when you load a bunch of teachers onto a bus to head off for an office workshop? a disaster waiting to happen. we were literally on the bus for ten minutes when my boss busted out the soju and everyone started doing shots. well, everyone but me. i had decided early on that this would be an alcohol free workshop for me. from that moment i knew things could only go down hill and they did. our workshops always start off with good intentions. namely to discuss whats happening at our school. but somehow they never seem to accomplish their mission. instead we end up with a bunch of drunk teachers who are suffering from hangovers the next morning. we have 4 new foreign teachers at our school and unfortunately two of them suffer from extreme frat boy mentality when drunk. by the time we reached our destination people were already drunk and the drinking continued. now don't get me wrong, i do enjoy having a few cocktails here and there but there's a time and place for everything. being completely drunk and acting like an ass at your company workshop is not one of them. i was quite surprised and embarrassed by their actions. back in the states i make it a point to avoid the loud abrasive drunk. its not my idea of having a good time. the disrespect they showed to complete strangers and fellow employees was appalling. one of them who i'll refer to as teacher x was full on flirting with one of the korean girls who work at our school. teacher x made it a point to tell me how he was using her just like she was using him. how he like that he had her. he seemed to get off on how submissive she acted toward him and kept asking her to get him things. its clear that she likes him and i can't quite figure out if teacher x is playing her or not. teacher y on the other hand was just your typical frat boy drunk. we had to tell him a couple of times to keep his voice down and to stop saying fuck so much in front of the females. he ended up falling down at one point and thats when one of the bosses told both teacher x and teacher y they needed to go to bed. i had a slight confrontation with teacher x when i tried to go upstairs to get my stuff. he shoved his hand into my chest to block me from going up the stairs and told me that i couldn't go up. he said we all needed to stay downstairs. i pushed his arm aside letting him know that i was going up to get my stuff. when i entered the room teacher y had climbed out the window and was now laying on the roof. a korean teacher was talking to him from the window. i didn't bother to involved myself. as i left the room teacher x was still on the staircase. i told him to never speak or act like that again. through out the night young teacher had to go up to the room to tell teacher y to keep the noise down. not only was he talking extremely loud but he was punching the closet door. eventually things seemed to calm down upstairs and sleep finally overcame me.

when we arrived at the resort that night there a korean film crew there working on the drama witch yu hee. according to the the korean teachers it was a very famous drama right now. aren't they all. it was cool to watch them film scenes. although we had to be quiet for most of the evening which was quite hard for the two drunk teachers. all the female korean teachers were so excited especially because one of the actors was dennis oh, who they all think is so handsome. it was actually quite cute to see them act like school girls. in the morning the filming continued so we got to watch a few more scenes being shot before our meeting. of course due the nature of all the drinking being done we didn't start on time. then again we never seem to. by the time the meeting started we didn't really have much time and it felt like we didn't get much accomplished. there was far too much outside talking and he often seemed to get off the subject at hand. i still have no idea what we were suppose to talk about. i did notice that teacher x and teacher y like to talk and talk loudly which seems to intimate the koreans. i will say this about them though. when they are sober they are quite respective and kind. it's the alcohol that seems to set them over the edge. so i don't think i'll be going out drinking with them anytime soon.

we packed up and cleaned up then headed off for yongmunsa. we spent the afternoon there. the weather was fantastic. a shorts and t-shirt kind of day. we hiked up to a temple. there was nothing really special about the temple. i think that i've seen so many now that they've lost their awe for me. i was just enjoying being outside and taking in the fresh air. on the was down we stopped by the stream. i wanted to get my feet wet. the water was ice cold but felt invigorating. i splashed around for awhile until i could no longer feel my feet. before heading home we went to a tea house. it was dark and cool inside. the decor was quite cool. the benches and table were made out of wood and there were lots of lighted screens. i could have sat in there for hours drinking coffee, smoking, and relaxing.

pictures from yungmunsa here.

stay gold & be well…

dashboard

deery-lou.
we filed out of the building in pairs of two like the animals did for noah. instead of boarding an ark we shuffled onto a light purple bus. one that i'm sure would belong to the joker if he drove a bus. the loud print of the curtains would keep anyone from sleeping. the plastic flowers toward the front added that special touch. i quickly grabbed a solo seat. on the television pinocchio was playing in korean. i opted to drown out all the noise by listening to my ipod. the day's selection we were dead before the ship even sank by modest mouse. an album i'm thoroughly enjoying. although the lyrics are often dark, his voice rather husky and deep, the music fills me with a feeling i can't quite explain. and in a good way. every once in a while a child would tap my arm trying to get my attention. you could sense their excitement. we were on our way. the destination…mulhyanggi arboretum.

it was a rather short jaunt to the arboretum. a little shy of an hour. this was our first field trip of many to come. that's the one benefit to teaching kindergarten—the field trips. it reminded me of when i was in school. field trips were always fun. whether it was to the colonial village, john young's planetarium, or saint augustine the best part was always the frozen soda my mom packed in my lunch. a field trip as a teacher is a new experience. it was a blast to watch the children enjoy themselves. although i realized that we could have taken them to a giant dirt mound and they would be just as happy. it the whole notion of being able to run around outside that they like. the arboretum itself was all right. it was bit too early for a visit. the trees, plants, and flowers were still in their winter state so it was mostly bare trees. the hues consisted of browns and greens. there were a few flowers in bloom but overall not much to keep your attention. especially for an adult. like i said, it didn't matter to the children. i'm sure its beautiful in the height of spring. we stayed for a few hours walking the grounds. before heading back we had lunch by the lake. missing were the sandwiches, chips, and soda. instead they had variations of kimbop, grapes, water, and juice.

caleb

andy

davis & me

future angels [esther & irene]

ladies by the lake

joanna

and then there was this sigh by the bridge…


now i know the cars here are small but they aren't small enough to fit on a foot bridge.

for more pix of the trip to mulhyanggi arboretum go here.

the cherry blossoms are in bloom. walking around town you can see them everywhere. there's something about cherry blossoms. they make the bleakest, coldest rainy day more beautiful. you can't help but feel enchanted by them. they have a mystical quality about them. i often find myself lost in their power. i could wonder around under their protection for hours. and during that time all is good.

i had dinner with my taekwondo class on wednesday. i kept teasing my kwanjangnim about having a pizza party. he finally took me up on the offer. although we had pork instead of pizza. i always myself hanging out with him and sahbomnim. i tried to get sahbomnim to speak more english but it was useless.

lately i've been somewhat in a funk. its been over a week since daniel has been back and i haven't seen him yet. some family stuff came up which kept us from meeting last saturday. i finally got to speak to him on friday. the conversation didn't go as well as i hope. his going through some stuff and needs time to think things over. so currently we are on a break. although i completely understand and respect that he needs this time its hard. we spent so much time together before he left that i feel there's now a void. so for now i'm giving him his space and hopefully next weekend when i return from my office retreat we'll be able to get together and sort things out. i'm not quite ready to give up yet.

stay gold & be well…

iou

deery-lou.
it's night. i'm standing on the corner waiting to cross the street. "iou" by metric is playing on my ipod. as i look around i notice that i'm surrounded by uniformed high students. i catch them sneaking glances at me. will the novelty ever wear off. oh, and its my birthday. i'm spending a rather quiet birthday. taking a page from my dear friend bc. sure i could go to a bar and drink vodka tonics—been there, done that. besides i've yet to find that place that sells pint-sized vts. instead i spent my evening working out in my taekwondo class. and i definitely got a workout tonight. my legs ache. i'm exhausted. but its a good exhausted. overall i had a pretty good day. i got a call from bc in the early morning. it was great to hear her voice. also got a chance to chat with kate during one of my classes. before hanging up i had my students all say "goodbye kate". got some birthday greetings from friends and family. plus had a mini party at school. besides the teachers some of the kindergarten students were there to sing and eat cake. it was a frozen yam cake. yes, i said yam. it had the consistency of a cheese cake minus the cheese cake taste. actually it wasn't that bad. watching the children sing to me was the best though. they are so cute. they get excited about the littlest things. all their hands were going into the cake, licking the icing before i even had a chance to cut it. my sister sent a box of goodies, a sunprint kit [which is awesome], and an aquaman t-shirt. score! i think i'm going out with a few peeps on friday so i'll squeeze in a few vts then. i did buy myself a new pair of shoes which my sis will be shipping to me. thought it was time to change up the old style here. afterall i'm a little shy of 40. all righty, time to eat the chocolate ball i bought myself as b-day treat. nite nite.

stay gold & be well…

most of us prizefighters

deery-lou.
on friday we had our easter party. in preparation for the big day we decorated eggs and hid them throughout the school. seeing that white eggs are almost impossible to find we had about 30 brown eggs to decorate. i came up with the idea to just put stickers on the eggs. i mean, who wants to sit there and paint stencils onto the eggs like they wanted too. not me. so off i went to the stationary store to find up some easter-like stickers. in addition to the real eggs we also had some chocolate kinder eggs that were filled with jelly beans and some little toys in an egg container. someone had the bright idea to wrap all the eggs in tin foil. that way the kids wouldn't be able to tell the chocolate ones from the real ones. as if it really mattered. so after class i found myself wrapping eggs. boring!!!

easter eggs hunts were always my favorite part of easter. i could do without the chocolate and candy. tearing through my house as a child in search of the those eggs was always the thrill. my sister and i made my parents hide eggs up until we were in high school. of course by this time the plastic eggs were filled with pocket change. when i was three my pops took my sister and i to an easter egg hunt hosted by the city we lived in. children were separated into age groups. my father not knowing my age signed me up for the five year olds group. needless to say i didn't get any eggs that year.

the egg hunt was a big hit with the kids. they ran around the school in herds searching them out. it took them awhile to figure out that it would be best to go off on their own. aferall 16 kids in one room only the strong would survive. it was fun to watch them. they'd run up to us saying "hint, hint". i tried to give them the old "you're getting hot or cold" but that was lost on them. my hints turned into me actually showing them where the egg was. prizes were given to all the children depending on how many eggs they found. they all found one at least one. the rest of the day was spent making crafts. the kids were separated into age groups: 7 year olds & 5-6 year olds. in my class we made bunny head pencil toppers. which really meant that claire & i did most of the work.

bunny pencil topper

5/6 year olds

7 year olds

it seems like the days when we have parties are so much harder than normal days. its probably because we are constantly on the go. the easter party was no exception. to make matters worse our head teacher didn't show up until 2pm. thats when kindergarten ends. she never bothered to call either. let's just say i was slightly pissed. especially since it meant we all had to do more. when she finally arrived it looked as if she had been drinking all night, which was probably the case. i think she spent most of her classes watching movies. hmm. at point during the day i found her asleep. two students noticed her sleeping as well. now that's a great example to set. her class was about to start so i went up to our director and told her that someone needs to wake her up. come on! of course by the time school was over she felt well enough to go out again.

teaching is H.A.R.D

as i've mentioned before i've been teaching overtime until we get a new teacher at the junior school. one of the classes i have are these two boys hyeong-joon and tae-gon. these two are definitely a handful. they spend most of the class time making spit bubbles and getting into trouble. but they are definitely smart boys. just a little spoiled. for some reason they seem to respond to me. i told my boss that i thought it was a mistake to give this class to the new teacher. always up for a challenge i told him that we should switch my 3:30 class with this class. that way the new teaching can have the zombie students i teach. not sure if they're gonna do it or not. i'll just have to wait and see.

hyeong-joon

tae-gon

young teacher and i went out for dinner to have a bitch session. as great as my school is, it does have its problems. after three years of no change i think i've finally have had it. there's something definitely going on there with the upper management and owner. i mean we have people there that are definitely not doing their jobs yet nothing happens. my boss will say things like "she's through" or "i'm gonna fire her" but he never does. i don't even think our head teacher got in trouble for missing most of the day. meanwhile there are those of us working our asses off and don't get recognized for it. instead they gives us more to do. all of this has gotten me to think about how much longer i'll stay in korea. however, if i do stay i do know that it's my last year at this school. i have a verbal agreement to stay there until february 2008 but my original/written contract ends in sept 2007. i'm thinking about my options.

stay gold & be well…

lord, let us shine

deery-lou.
so one of the classes i teach is art. which is funny since an artist i'm clearly not. anyway, i've been having a blast exploring my inner artist. and the best part is that my students are all amazed at my handy work. oh, if they only knew. i will admit i am enjoying their praise.

here's my lastest: clown



stay gold & be well…